“We can’t hold on to old emotional baggage and remain emotionally resilient at the same time.” – John Maxwell. Many of us experience betrayal and hurt from friends, coworkers, or even family members. It’s heartbreaking to think that that special someone you thought is your BFF would hurt you so deeply, or that family member who you believed you could trust, would cause you more heartache than you could imagine. At times, it can feel like everywhere you turn, there seems to be hurt and betrayal.
I’ve had my fair share of getting hurt by people, even lost a few close friends throughout my journey; friends I thought would be in it for the long run. In fact, when I was in high school, shortly after coming to America, my closest friend moved to another state and completely ended our relationship. No explanation and no reason as to why. We had been through so much together, including our journey to America, where we were escorted out of Iraq by the U.S. and Turkish military in a mission to save the lives of those who worked for American organizations. The sudden change and loss caused some serious damage that resulted in depression which lasted over a year. Living in a foreign country, just starting high school, not knowing anyone and having no friends was very difficult, adding the departure of a close friend was even harder than I could ever describe. It took me years to adjust and pull myself out of that rut. It wasn’t until my early 20’s that I stopped lying to myself that I was fine and what she had done hadn’t caused me pain, hadn’t made me bitter. It wasn’t until then, years later, that I decided to completely let go of the deep-rooted anger.
Emotional baggage comes in many forms, its damage can be minor at times, but extremely detrimental other times even when there is no physical evidence. How do you pull yourself out? How do you overcome that baggage? Especially when it can hold you back from moving forward and growing as a person. It can limit your happiness, almost as if it puts a cap on your freedom and your ability to breath. Many of us are aware of the fact that letting go and forgiving has such a powerful impact on our lives, some describe it as feeling a 100lb lighter, yet it takes so much time and effort, and every so often, it takes therapy to move forward. You may think to yourself, easier said than done, and it is. Rarely is the path to healing smooth and quick. I know…I’ve been there, more times than I would like to admit. I’ve allowed so many people to take advantage of me and impact my life negatively in ways I never thought possible. But what I’ve learned through all of that is that I’m the only one who can truly take care of me, and holding on to that baggage did me no good. It just hurt me and hurt those closest to me.
As you work through your New Year’s resolutions, I hope that you are staying strong with your bold commitments to taking on a new challenge. I also pray that you are able to let go of anything that is holding you back and inhibiting your growth due to baggage that is hurting YOU. Holding on to all of that dead weight works against YOU, the other party gets to live their life. So why can’t you?
Remember, you can’t hold on to old emotional baggage and remain emotionally resilient at the same time.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30