What box are you locked in? Do you prefer a different box or are you content with the one you’re in? Every day, every minute, someone is placed in a metaphorical box. Whether it’s a box that identifies us by our race and/or religion, or a box that is labeled by our education, the car we drive, the house we live in, or by our body type. How many boxes are you trapped in? Did you choose those boxes or were you placed there by the perception of others? The first box that we’re naturally locked in is the appearance box, the one that’s labeled by our looks…dare I say, race!
Being born and raised in Iraq, some people look at me and right away place me in a box. I’ve made my peace with this fact, however, what bothers me the most is when they walk up to me and start guessing which country I’m from based on my appearance. When they guess the country or ones close by, they get excited, as if they’re proud they identified ME, they identified which box they are going to lock me in. I know I belong in that box but that doesn’t mean I want it announced, almost like pin the tail on the donkey.
Sometimes I feel as if we spend more time boxing people than we do breaking those bad cycles. We hang on what’s in front of us instead of what could be ahead of us as a society. I worked for a boss that was very vocal and opinionated with no filter. He thought it was funny to refer to me as the Iraqi cougar cat, because any tasks and projects that were entrusted to me would be completed efficiently and in a timely manner. I was introduced in business meetings as such. It was never intended as an insult, in his opinion, it was a compliment. But we all know that intention and impact are two different things. How that title impacted me internally is ultimately what mattered, because it definitely didn’t build me up, it actually embarrassed me…often.
The next time you look at someone and start to analyze, pause and think of how this will impact them. Not only will this behavior help break this vicious cycle but it will also empower you to see others as more than what meets the eye.
