My Teddy Bear

Growing up, my comforting teddy bear was not soft, it was not fluffy, and it was not cuddly by any means. That’s because it was a book.  I cuddled with a book…my Bible, to be exact.

From the time I was born until my 14th birthday, I had only owned a teddy bear once. It was a small blue teddy bear named Nina.  When I lived in Jordan, I made a friend and she gave me Nina as my farewell present before moving to Turkey. I was 8 years old at the time.  I learned to cuddle with a teddy bear for the first time, and I loved the comfort Nina provided. But this didn’t last long.

After living in Turkey for three months, the Turkish government decided to surprise us with a deportation back to Iraq.  My family and I were forced to leave everything we owned behind.  Nina remained snuggled up against my pillow when the armed soldiers escorted us onto large Greyhound buses and drove us back to Iraq. 

Living back in Iraq was extremely stressful and provided a new set of challenges. With limited food, supplies, and an ongoing war, life was overwhelmingly difficult, to say the least.  I started seeking comfort from the only thing that I knew brought me peace, my Bible.  Not just in reading it, but also in physically being able to clutch onto it.  Every time I was afraid and in doubt, every time life was taking another turn for the worst, I would reach over and grab my Bible, hold it tightly against my chest and wrap my small arms around it.  Just like a child needing their toy or blanky, I was no different.  I needed my book to feel safe again and to be able to fall asleep.  It was definitely an odd thing to do, but it provided me with the one thing I needed the most.

To this day, when I have a tough day, I have no answers to life’s challenges, or I have my uncertainties, I still reach over and grab my Bible. Not just to read it and seek wisdom from it, but also to hold onto it. To cuddle with it. We all need something or someone that brings us comfort and peace during our turmoil.  It could be a song, a book, a best friend or significant other, or even a childhood stuffed animal. Where do you find your comfort?