Recently, I spoke at a church event in my community. One of the questions I received at the end was, “how was the transition from Iraq to America?” And my immediate response was, “it sucked! I would choose war over the culture shock I experienced.” What a crazy reply!
As I reflect on what I experienced shortly after my arrival, I can’t help but choose war over the unknown. There was so much unknown. The unknown of a 14 yrs old girl with PTSD, tossed in high school and forced to survive. The unknown of new feelings I had never experienced before, called loneliness and depression. The unknown of the language barrier that made me feel like an outcast and an idiot at times. And of course, the unknown of this time of the year, Halloween, where people around me failed to educate me on the traditions of this holiday before school on October 31st.
Opening the school doors that morning was horrifying. I never expected masks, costumes, and what looked like blood here in America; I thought I had escaped those horrors. Little did I know that that was part of a tradition, and what looked like blood was nothing but red paint. What seemed normal to an average American was a horrifying experience to a young girl with a traumatic past. I have overcome my struggles over Halloween since, and although I will not dress up, I will participate just enough for my children’s sake.
As I reflect on my past and the mixed emotions I experienced, I am so glad I didn’t choose war. I am so glad I didn’t give in to loneliness and depression, and I am so glad I didn’t give in to the culture shock. My life would have had a much different outcome. I was determined not to allow my circumstances to dictate my future, and I am proud to say that what I have overcome goes beyond my childhood. It extends well into the years to follow. The years shaped who I am today because they taught me to be strong, confident, and resilient.
Life comes with the good, the bad, and the ugly, but it also comes with beauty, grace, and mercy. We have a choice to make.
Beautiful words as always Ramina!! I’m so glad you came here and are such a blessing to so many!