Suppressed emotions are like a ticking time bomb ready to explode, just waiting for the right situation to set them off. Think of them as illnesses in incubation.
Although ISIS (see last week’s blog) triggered the trauma I had suppressed within me, it was actually a blessing in disguise. It forced me to break my pride and seek help. It also changed my perspective; it made me more positive and even more resilient. Now, I have the necessary tools to overcome future trauma.
Admitting I needed help felt like a weakness as if I failed at something. I can get an education, manage businesses, and succeed at almost everything I set my mind to, yet I can’t seem to help my mental state to a point where my emotional state was in question as well. The first eight weeks of therapy and neurofeedback were some of the most brutal weeks I have ever endured. Having to relive my past on a deeper level, identifying each aspect of the trauma, realizing that my brain only felt safe when my eyes were open, which made sleeping a challenge, at times, impossible. Watching my brain in such turmoil on the neurofeedback screen, and hearing the therapist describe what I was going through, was extremely challenging. During those eight weeks, I felt as if I hit rock bottom. I felt worse in the early stages of therapy than before it, but as we all know, nothing worth having comes easy. There is always a storm before a rainbow.
Persevering through those challenging weeks was one of the best decisions I ever made. It also began my self-care and healing journey.
Sometimes trauma strikes us when we emotionally and psychologically are exposed to extraordinarily stressful situations. What we mentally experience can shatter our sense of security, making us feel helpless. Leaving us struggling with upsetting unpredicted emotions, painful memories, and even anxiety.
Today, take a moment and reflect on your journey of healing and self-care. Look at the growth you have experienced. If you haven’t started one, then I encourage you to take the first step today. It is never too late to begin healing. Yes, it may be unpleasant in the beginning, but so worth it!
