“No, you can’t” or “it can’t be done” or “it’s impossible” are some of my least favorite statements to hear, but they are also my biggest motivators. Growing up as a Christian Assyrian minority in a Muslim country, living as an outcast, moving from house to house, and country to country, I heard these words often. It started with my parents, my extended family members, my teachers, the government, and even other countries. I heard the word NO enough to last me several lifetimes.
Having desires and dreams of a better life existed only in fairytales. It was ingrained within me that such things could not be possible because of my living situation and who I was. Although I tried to defy the odds in Iraq, I was met with barriers. For example, women didn’t compete in sports, so I pushed for my Middle School to have a volleyball team, so we did, and we traveled to another school for a game. Our season consisted of one game only and men were not allowed to attend, including our fathers. It wasn’t much but it was better than nothing. I published an article in the city’s newspaper but my name was marked as “unknown” because I was a female. Nonetheless, it never stopped me from trying when I was told I shouldn’t.
When I came to America, it was as if my strapped wings were freed, I could spread them and fly. My flying happened with doing everything I was told I couldn’t do growing up. I played soccer in high school and competed against other schools, I wasn’t the best player but I was part of a team. I wanted my education to be farther than anyone in my family so I pushed myself to get my Master’s degree while working a full-time job and having a one-year-old baby at home. I found passion in a sport most women in my culture will never find themselves doing…Muay Thai. I taught myself everything I could about cars so I can purchase my car with no help from others and the salesman couldn’t take advantage of me. I enjoy learning any traits possible especially the ones that are labeled “manly” so that I can do it better than any man around. Why? Because it defies what I was culturally taught. These are just some of the many things I have done that make my family members shake their heads in awe. Every time I think of something new to try, and I hear someone say “you shouldn’t do that” or “no, don’t do it” something triggers within me, I take it as a challenge, and I do everything in my power to show them that it can be done.
What childhood phrase or word drives you today? So often, we take our past for granted, forgetting that it provided us with the best education we could have. If we spend some time reflecting on our past and appreciating the lessons it tried to teach us, we can have a rewarding life.
