My grandmother Marna was ten years old when she traveled from Iran to Iraq, alone, with strangers. Marna’s aunt had broken her leg and needed someone to take care of her. In the Middle East, it is customary for the family to step up and help each other when necessary, especially if requested by an elder such as Marna’s grandfather. This was a bit more cruel than usual as the aunt took advantage of Marna. She deprived her of an education and forced her young niece to give up her childhood to become a full-time caretaker, who was responsible for cooking, cleaning and even laundering by hand at the river. Her palms would be raw and often bled because she rubbed the clothes between them for long periods.
She missed her family severely, especially her mother, and had no method of staying in touch. She yearned for her mother’s hugs and kisses. Her departure from Iran came months after the Islamic extremists raided her small Assyrian village. The men were captured and locked in a baking room that was set on fire leaving the women alone and vulnerable. Mere, Marna’s older sister, and several other young ladies were taken by these soldiers. Some of the girls were raped and forced into marrying their captors, while others were forced into slavery, and some never had a chance and died in the hands of their abusers.
Marna served her aunt and family for over six years. Neighboring ladies felt sorry for her, so they embraced her whenever possible and taught her all the necessary domestic duties to survive. When men asked for Marna’s hand in marriage, the aunt refused because she did not want to lose her maid. Eventually, Marna was able to escape to Baghdad and run away from her abusive home. She lived with a distant cousin, and that is where she met the love of her life, Raman. They immediately fell in love and soon after they were married. Raman treated her like a queen; he respected and adored her in every way possible. However, when Raman was at work, Marna received daily beatings at the hands of her father-in-law. It was customary for a newly married couple to live with the groom’s family in the beginning. The father-in-law despised Marna because she was uneducated. He hated the fact that his educated and well-respected son married a maid. She endured years of beatings, and not once did she mention any of it to her husband. She never wanted to cause friction between her husband and his family. She continued serving his family to the best of her ability, never complaining about the hand life had dealt her. Her serving heart never gave up even when her father-in-law became ill with cancer and his wife and daughter left him. It was Marna who took care of him. It wasn’t until he was on his death bed when he finally saw Marna for the amazing and graceful woman she was and apologized to her.
It took 20 years for Marna to be able to visit Iran and see her family again. Her favorite bible verse was “Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me.” Psalm 27:10. She held onto this verse very tightly as it helped her persevere.
Marna’s life was full of grief, pain, loss, and loneliness, not to mention all the wars she lived through and living in various countries as a refugee before coming to America. Yet she never stopped loving and most importantly, she never stopped serving. Her gratitude for life was contagious. She was a sassy little thing, full of attitude and determination, jokes, and silly songs. Not once did she complain about life or ask, “Why me!” On March 11, 2021, my grandmother took her last breath, grateful for the life she had and everything she had been through.
As I reflect on her life and my memories with her, the one thing that stands out the most is her gratitude. I can’t begin to tell you about the pain she endured in her life-time, yet she always managed to push forward with a smile. She always prayed blessings over us, often reminding us never to give up, and always give God the praise and glory.
We all have a burden; for some, it’s heavier than others. Our attitude towards our burden and what we experience in life is what sets us apart.
